How To Be The Person You Want To Be
We have a vision and driving perception that the person we are here, right now, is the person we will always be and, as such, we are the finished item, the best that we can be.
The best in our managerial, professional and personal lives. It does not get any better than this.
We might agree that we are a different product than ten, fifteen or twenty years ago yet our present-day focus remains that we are the finished product and that we can see no further personal growth than where we sit right now.
But the reality is that we are always a “work in progress” because our views, tastes, skills, likes, dislikes and experiences make us all change, making us different, better, worse, more complex than ourselves any period of time ago.
We would all see change as inevitable, but that does not mean it is out of our control – there are three strategies that can help you to shape the person that you want to be:
Identify your former, current and future self
It is perfectly natural to put all of your emphasis upon the current you, focusing on who you are now and giving yourself a series of labels within which to operate. Mine are that I am not good at making decisions, good with people but lacking empathy, and so on. The danger here is that such labels are straightjackets on our performance because we live within those constraints. Alternatives are dismissed quickly because they challenge those labels and that is uncomfortable.
In reality we grow as individuals and past labels show that you are not that same person from 2010 and definitely not the you of 2000! You now, in 2020, have a very different modus operandi and you have gained far more in 2020 than you could have imagined possible in 2000!
In terms of your future self it is important to make sure that you set goals that take you out of your stable present self and start to think about the things you want to achieve in the future, even if this is a series of short-term goals and targets. Start to think monthly, quarterly and yearly goals and start to celebrate new goals that you are achieving.
Flesh out what the Future You looks like.
This is all about planning what you want the future to be, rather than just accepting what comes along and reacting to that. The danger here is that you let life drive you, rather than driving life. To do this you need clear goals and targets which you can achieve by developing relevant skills and competences to get there.
Goals give you a structure, direction and make you ask questions of the right people, forge links and develop a process that delivers results.
Your behaviour in the present is largely shaped by your view of your own future. If your future is clear, exciting, and something you believe you can create, then your behaviour in the present will reflect that.
So, what three things can you do right now to start progressing to the future you?
Write your new identity story
Identity is a critically important part of who we are because it drives behaviours which become embedded into our unique personality. This is all about what you say about yourself but the trap here is that the focus just falls upon the past and the present, not the future. Doing this delivers a fixed mindset which will always deliver a focus onto the present, which is not a healthy place to be.
Tell everyone who and what you want to be – this is too important to just hold it internally to yourself! You have not got there yet, but you have started that journey with goals and targets along the way. This is all about being intentional about who you want to become!
Telling people who you want to be is very powerful because it will compel you to make your behaviour link to your new story and make a break from the past.
There is no time like the present so start acting like your future self, rather than your former self. You will need to get used to uncertainty and change, learning and failure and never be held back by the present, and definitely not by the past!
Be the version of you that you want to be!
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