How To Get On Well With People
Unless we live alone on an island in the middle of the ocean we must work with, socialise with and get on with those around us – there is simply no other way!
What makes individual people more successful than others, however you might want to measure this, is down to how well we can use our social skills and powers of persuasion and influence to make this happen.
Working and socialising with others requires skill in 5 areas:
- Concentration: thinking and preparing ahead how we want to interact and what we want to get from the conversation or event. This is not about exploiting people or the situation but thinking about positive outcomes we could reasonably expect to see – if the event is a meeting, what do you want to get from the process and how will you know when this has been achieved. Also, and very importantly, consider what the others would want to get from the event and use this to sharpen your approach.
- Observation: watching the reaction of others to things that are going on around them is a key social skill. Getting on well with others is very much about judging the body language and reactions of others to what is being said so the key to forming strong social bonds is all down to careful and focused observations of those around you.
- Anticipation: being able to accurately predict what will occur in any given situation is very important in preparing what you need to say and the way the message is constructed. If you know that you will be delivering an important message to a colleague, where there will be key pieces of information they need to know, then anticipating their reaction and response to the key points of the interaction will help you in getting over any barriers or perceptions that they might have.
- Space: think about how physical distance works, perhaps by observing successful people and how they use proximity to get their message across, and how they use subtle body language techniques to cement relationships. Being literally too close, or too far away from others, hugely influences the likelihood of successfully working with others.
- Time: give yourself ample opportunity to prepare as often you will have only one chance to get this right. Once communicating and engaging with others, give them time to explain their views and opinions so that you can carefully and systematically think about what you want to say in response.
Using the pointers above will help you to put over the message, and yourself, as you would want to be received.
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