The Seven Golden Tips Of Negotiation
How exactly do you get good deals without turning into some form of autocratic bruiser that then alienates the other party?
- This is not chess
Negotiation is more like dating where the quality of the relationship is essential. This is very important especially if a long-term link is what you are aiming for. Always remember that you cannot, nor should not, anticipate or imagine every possible reaction.
- Stop trying to convince them
It is impossible to get the other party to exactly see your position, let alone agree to it. The best solution is to get inside their head to see what they are looking to achieve. You can never get someone to see something the way you would like them to see it!
Instead, try to get inside their head. Understand what’s motivating them and turn it back on them.
- Know yourself!
The really successful negotiators invest time not only in understanding the other side, but also themselves.
Think about who you are, what you want, why you want it, how you will behave if you reach an impasse, and then do the same with the other side.
Knowing yourself also helps you to attain ‘buoyancy’ – the ability to adapt quickly to the unexpected in negotiations.
- Get Emotional
Often the unexpected is a feeling rather than a fact. Many a negotiation was ruined by an inopportune flush of anger. But if you think you can eliminate emotions from the negotiating table altogether, think again – this will never happen!
The secret then is to use those passions to your advantage. Also remember that emotion is a great source of information: why has the other side suddenly got angry and also as the process develops what is making you angry and why?
- Use the word ‘no’
No is a good way of protecting your point and base from which to move forward.
Using no creates a powerful psychological reaction inside you. Some people say it all the time, to protect themselves.
- Use your voice to maximum effect
Your tone has a powerful impact on the other side’s emotions. A calm and measured voice will always have a good impact especially if you use your smile to add to the weight of your message as smiling invites the other party more readily to accept what you are saying.
- Let them ‘win’
Closing negotiations can be tricky if the other side does not want to say yes. So swallow your pride and get ready to lose.
If you make the other side feel like they have won, even if they actually have not, then the deal will go through. This means that they’re less likely to back out later.
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