Deciphering Management Speak
Management speaks Mandarin. Or is it Urdu. Maybe New York Street-speak.
Whatever it is and however it is put savvy and clued-up staff know how to extract the meaning from the words.
Have a look at the table below and see if the contents resonate with your experiences of Management Speak.
|Management Says||What It Actually Means|
|That’s very interesting||I disagree|
|I don’t disagree||I disagree|
|I don’t totally disagree||You may be right but I don’t care|
|You’ve obviously put a lot of work into this||This is rubbish|
|In a perfect world||Just get it working and get it out of the door|
|We have to leverage our resources||Get used to working every weekend|
|Individual contributor||Employee who does real work|
|I like your buy-in on this||I want someone to blame when this goes wrong|
|We need to syndicate this decision||We need to spread the blame when this goes wrong|
|We have to put on our marketing hats||Forget ethics just get it sold|
|I’m glad you asked me that||PR have written a good cover story for that|
|I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal||One person could not have come up with this stupid idea alone|
|I will never lie to you||The truth will change frequently|
|Human Resources||A bulk commodity of now value, like tea bags and paperclips|
So the next time you have a “chat” with management think carefully about what is said but focus on what is really said!